road warrior

As many of you know, I have the most mundane commute home from work imaginable. It’s about 35 miles of interstate and highway and it takes me between one and two hours. See my corner of rage article about traffic if you’d like to hear the whole story.

Back to the point: I’ve been lucky enough to have someone to share the commute with for the last week or so. Unfortunately, it’s Jay. Since we ran out of creative insults, we decided to turn the ride home into a game. We call this game "Road Warrior."

Before I get too involved in the rules, here’s the obligatory disclaimer. THIS IS A STUPID GAME. It’s very possible that it creates real road rage and may promote unsafe driving practices. This game should NEVER be played with only one person. The level of concentration required would overwhelm one person causing them to go into a psychotic rage causing a three million car pile-up. Once again, NEVER play this game and if you do, make sure it’s with more than one person.

Since I know you’re going to try it anyway, here are the specifics. To play this game correctly, you need at least two people and the ability to take the same route home at least two (or however many players there are) days in a row. Every day you alternate drivers and the passenger keeps score.

You start the game after you enter the highway or interstate. Pick a mile marker or landmark within two or three miles of the on-ramp. You must also choose a starting lane. This game works best on stretches of road with more than two lanes. Once everything has been agreed upon, the game may commence.

Here are the rules. Once the driver changes lanes, every car he or she passes in the former lane counts as a point. Conversely, every car that passes you in the former lane counts as a negative point. The goal is to get the highest score possible. If the driver changes lanes again, the most recent lane is the one that counts.

As the driver, you want to make it home (alive) as quickly as possible, right? To do so, you’ll need to make some lane changes and pass some idiots. As soon as you’re in the starting lane and pass the start landmark, it’s pedal to the metal time!

As the passenger, it’s your duty to keep an accurate score. You’re keeping score for several reasons. 1) If the driver has to keep score, they’ll most likely crash and kill both of you. 2) It’s up to you to make judgment calls about questionable passes. Remember, they get to score you next time, so be honest.

VEHICLES PULLED OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD DO NOT COUNT

To reach the end of the game, you have several options. The first is simply to stop counting after a certain landmark. I chose to use the off-ramp from the highway. Whoever has the highest score wins. The other option is to go until a certain score is reached and whoever reaches that score faster wins.

Since this is technically a review, I give it a 5 out of 5... because I invented the damned game.

-mac