bmx xxx (review) - 06/14/04

I will admit that it was the curiosity of seeing naked chicks on bikes that drove me to purchase BMX XXX. Something about controlling a topless, pixilated woman riding a bike just appealed to me, as I’m sure it does to many. But, what I failed to realize was the obvious; that any game that has to rely on nudity and being risqué to sell copies, probably isn’t the best game to actually play. And so is the case with BMX XXX.

First off, you can’t start with a naked rider. Yea, talk about a bummer. You can get a semi-naked woman wearing a thong and two bullseyes on her bosoms, but that’s as good as it gets for the first part of the game. To unlock the nudity in the game, you must go through some of the most mundane, and frustrating levels imaginable. Many times, you just wonder around aimlessly during a mission because you don't know what the hell to do. The moderate controls are relatively easy to use, but interacting with the environments gets frustrating as you continuously crash into a wall that is still four feet away from you.

The rewards of this frustrating gameplay are hardly worth it. Every level has a cut scene of a stripper, but even that is a far cry from what I expected. The strippers are in bikinis until the end, where there is some toplessness, but after tearing out your own eyes in frustration, you will hardly enjoy it.

All in all, BMX XXX is just a game that relies too heavily on its main marketing feature, and doesn't deliver on the basics that make a game great.

-jay