dead puppies & the elderly - 07/01/04 The Problem: So Arnold (the Governator) Schwarzenegger proposed to reverse a 1998 law on stray animals that forced animal shelters to hold onto stray animals for at least 6 days before giving them a dirt nap. The new legislation would only require animal shelters to hold onto animals for 3 days before making them into hot dogs. According to the Governator, this reverse of legislation will save California $14 million. Now, that's a good start, but California is over $65 BILLION in debt!! It seems that we're going to have to do more than just kill animals to make up that kind of cash. So, I began running some numbers for the Governator, and I found an nifty solution to California's debt crisis. The Plan: In California alone, there are a lot of old people. Old people who don't work. They call it retirement, but I call it laziness, and those who do not work should be put to use. Since they will not work, an alternative solution will be reached: We will juice them. Turning old people into protein drinks, which is a multi-billion dollar market, will produce extreme revenues well into the billions of dollars, but more importantly, it will reduce the population of the blue haired blood sucking leaches on social security. The Result: We don't spend money on social security anymore, we get rid of old people who were really of no use to us anyway, and we get a mighty profit to fund other political agendas, such as giving tax breaks to the biggest corporations we can find. In return, we, the political elite, will live like kings while the grandmas and grandpas of the U.S. get their wrinkly-old bodies made into a valuable resource for the young and strong. Thus, we persevere forward into the 21st century as a great race of super humans who don't have to worry about money or food every again! God Bless America! -jay more rage or back to naner.org