Video games & your soul Dear Dr. Moral, I know you’re not really a medical doctor, but I think my problem is multi-faceted enough for you to tackle it. Here goes. I play a lot of video games. I mean a lot. Every day, I get up early just so I can play through the Maw (legendary) in HALO on the Xbox. When I beat that, I grab a bagel and go to work. At least 13 times a day at work, I go play those stupid online flash games. Once I get home, I finish another character on SSX Tricky then I eat a bowl of cereal with one hand while playing some mini games in Fusion Frenzy with the other. I usually end up passing out in the couch near 4:00am in front of Tech/G4 TV catching up on the latest games. Lately, my eyes have started to go in and out of focus as well as water profusely. I also have this stabbing pain in both hands and sometimes up my wrists. Finally, I’ve started referring to my co-workers as Dominique Trix, Master Chief, Princess, and Toadstool, just to name a few. I’ve tried cutting back on my video games, but that usually ends up in an arrest and an assault charge. What should I do? Sincerely, Addicted to Pixels Dear Addict, You are an amazing specimen of where our human evolution is heading. Undoubtedly, your hand-eye coordination is leaps and bounds beyond any other three people out there combined. Your problem solving skills are unmatched and your visual acuity is unparalleled. Let’s handle your “problems” one by one. First, let’s look at your eyes. The focus problems and acute watering are side effect of you spending long periods of time in front of a monitor of sorts then glancing back and forth to the real world. STOP IT! The more you look at the real world, the more you’ll notice focus problems and constant tearing. My advice is to focus on the television or computer monitor for as long as you can without any breaks. If you need a restroom break or need to make food, shield you eyes and squint while doing so. Wrists. You don’t need them. You are in the unfortunate position of being in the middle of an evolutionary step. You will experience some pain and discomfort while your wrists fuse into one solid bone. Remember, you’re doing this for your descendants. As for your hands, you’ll be fine in a few months. What you are experiencing is the development of new muscles within the hand. Soon, you’ll be more dexterous and far stronger than any friends of yours. Finally, the name issue. If your co-workers knew how advanced you were as a human being, they would welcome their new namesakes. Until then, continue to do as you have been unless a supervisor calls you on it. Stop only if it threatens your job. An evolutionary masterpiece like yourself needs income so you can continue to develop. For God’s sake, do NOT stop playing video games. If you end up in jail or injured you might not be able to evolve as quickly. Be very careful. The future of our species in is in your hands. Dr. A. Moral more of doc's advice or back to naner.org